Thursday, December 11, 2014

About Dying

I mentioned yesterday that I had stayed with my in-laws after Thanksgiving. It's true! The boys stayed with me but Gary had to go home to finish up the semester and go to work.

I'm pretty sure I mentioned it a few months ago, but my father-in-law has cancer. At this point he is on hospice and is only expected to live another day or two.

Jon is 75, but still young--or was 6 months ago. As late as last spring there was very little he couldn't do. We all expected another 10-15 good years out of him and are so disappointed to lose him so soon and so quickly.

Our real heartache though, is for Helen. She is losing her husband, her rock, her best friend, her partner. She is the one who has to keep on living. I know she will be ok eventually, but my heart hurts for her in the next few weeks and months.

I also have to admit, the timing is awful! The holidays can be hard after a loss, but to have the loss occur right between Thanksgiving and Christmas... I'm sure the next few years will be difficult.

We have hope though, in the resurrection and second coming. We know we will see Grandpa again. Jon has seen Jesus a time or two in the last couple of weeks. He has been comforted, has been told that Jesus will take care of Helen and is looking forward to the pain and disease being over.

My mom said something that has helped my perspective a lot. She said, "There are worse ways to die than at home surrounded by family, made as comfortable as possible, and regularly affirmed by those around you that you are loved and will be missed." 

Jon and Helen have been a wonderful witness of leaning on Jesus even when terrible things happen. This is not God's plan. He does not cause pain or suffering or early death due to disease. An enemy has done this.

Thank you for your prayers as our family goes through this difficult time.


  1. Ellie, I'm so, so sorry for your family. What an awesome hope we have, knowing that we will be united with our loved ones again but separation does not come without grief. Praying for your family, for peace that surpasses all understanding.

    1. Thank you, Ashli. I don't know how we would handle it without hope!



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